


Teach Me How Love Goes

by peacockcock



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), American Idol RPF, Kris Allen (Musician)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-02
Updated: 2012-08-02
Packaged: 2017-11-11 06:25:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/475507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peacockcock/pseuds/peacockcock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam is a kindergarten teacher and Kris is a single dad. After a one-night-stand that they can't stop thinking about, fate steps in and they discover that Adam's favorite student, Ava, happens to be Kris's daughter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Teach Me How Love Goes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sbb23](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sbb23/gifts).



  


The room smells of crayons and glue. There are tiny pairs of scissors scattered around the alphabet rug. Blocks are stacked in the corners built as makeshift forts to keep the boys away, and easels with messy paintings of flowers. There is a collage of self-portraits drawn on multi-colored pieces of construction paper from all of his former students. 

It isn’t much, but it’s like a tiny piece of home to Adam. It was five years ago when he was hired. He remembers walking in to a room with bare walls and a couple of boxes of children’s books and toys. It was a scary time, giving up everything he wanted for something he’d never thought he’d consider. 

But right now, sitting in a tiny plastic chair and cutting out stars for Tanner’s galaxy with Rebecca and Louise coloring at his feet, giving up what he thought were his dreams doesn’t seem so bad.

“Mr. Lambert!” 

He glances up from the purple construction paper and looks at Ava. Her grin is missing two front teeth. “I did the bunny ears that you showed me!” she points down to her pink shoes, laced perfectly. “I did it _all_ by myself.”

Adam puts up his hand for a high-five. “Good job!” he laughs. “Now keep practicing so you can show off to all the other kids at recess.”

He watches as she runs back over to the carpet and unties her shoes. It takes her a couple of tries, but she gets it again. Adam’s heart swells up a little with pride because he taught her that, just like he taught James to count to 10 in Spanish, and Annabelle some of her times tables. 

The look on their faces when they finally get it is worth everything.

-

There is a small restaurant called Nuvo down the block from the elementary school where Adam teaches. Every Friday, he goes there for dinner and a free glass of wine—one of the perks of his college roommate being the bartender. 

“Bad day?” Terrance asks, wiping down the counters. Everyone has left so it’s just Adam alone at the bar. “Usually you stop after two glasses.”

Adam swallows the last drop and hands the glass over to Terrance. “Sometimes I need adult time after being around the kids all day. My job is so rewarding—I just. It’s so lonely sometimes, you know?”

Terrance’s smile is sad. He’s always been disappointed with Adam for switching to an education major and becoming a teacher. They were both theater majors in their freshman year. They bonded over their love of music and performing. Their plans were to graduate college, move to a shitty apartment in New York City and not stop until they made it.

In their junior year, Adam panicked because, really, who makes it big in theater? He didn’t want to be poor his entire life working as a bartender just to pay his rent. Terrance is still chasing the dream, taking the occasional dancing or singing gig. Sometimes, Adam envies him for never giving up that dream.

“Don’t you ever feel lonely, honey. You know I’m always here for you,” Terrance says, but his words don’t take the sting away.

Adam reaches for the half empty wine bottle and takes a swig. _That_ helps take the sting away, momentarily. He closes his eyes and savors the rich taste on his tongue. 

Someone shouts Terrance’s name behind him. Adam swivels the stool around and—well, the guy is just about the cutest thing Adam has ever seen. He’s wearing the required white button-down and black pants, but his nametag reads Kris and underneath says _Manager_. He’s so not the same manager that’s usually here with the beard.

“Jerry has to leave because his girlfriend’s car broke down,” Kris explains. “I know you’re supposed to leave at eight but do you think you can close with me tonight?”

Terrance wipes his hands with the rag and tosses it on the counter. “Yeah, that’s fine. Let me just call my roommate so he doesn’t worry about where I am.”

Kris grins and says, “Thank you,” and Adam can’t take his eyes off of his mouth. He tries to calculate in his head the last time he had sex. _Two months and four days._ Being a teacher is horrible on his sex life.

A hand swipes the rag in front of Adam and he looks up to see Kris staring at him, his mouth parted and his eyebrows raised a bit. Adam knows that look. It’s the one the cute boys give him before he takes them to the bathroom for a blowjob. 

“You want a glass?”

It takes a moment for Adam to realize Kris is talking to him and he snaps out of it to respond. “No, uh, thank you. I’ve already had four.”

Kris smiles and corks the bottle. “So _you’re_ the one Terrance gives all of the free drinks to. The old manager warned me about you.”

Adam reaches for his wallet in his pocket and flips it open to pull out some cash. Kris’s hand covers his. “Don’t you dare,” Kris says, his hand lingers on Adam’s longer than it probably should. “You’re not paying for a thing.”

His hand actually twitches when Kris pulls his away, wanting another touch. “Okay, boss,” Adam says.

He laughs. “Just call me Kris.”

“Kris,” Adam says, even though he already knew his name from the nametag. “I’m Adam.”

-

The restaurant dies down around ten. Terrance is helping Diane clean tables because of her bad back and Kris is sitting in the stool next to Adam, leaning close with their knees touching.

“Aren’t you supposed to be doing your managing duties?” Adam asks. He feels a familiar warm buzz that’s not from the alcohol but the proximity of a hot guy. His sweaty fingers have been tearing tiny pieces of napkin for the past half hour.

Kris looks around at the employees cleaning up for the evening. There’s still a couple eating in the corner booth, but Kris doesn’t seem all too concerned. “I think they’ve got it under control,” Kris says and turns all of his attention back to Adam. “Besides, this is my third day here. They know what they’re doing more than I do.”

That’s fine with Adam because he doesn’t want Kris to leave him. “Okay, good,” he says quietly.

Kris’s smile reaches his eyes. “Good.”

Adam tells Kris about his childhood here in San Diego, his younger brother being a pain in the ass but also one of his best friends. He tells Kris about the wild parties with Terrance in college and how he broke free from that. Now he’s here, making just enough money to afford a little house.

“I know how you feel. I dropped out of college freshman year because I thought I could become a musician,” Kris says. “I didn’t even want to, like, be famous. I just wanted to go around and play my music for people. Not easy when you’re broke and nobody wants to listen.”

Adam hangs on to every word. He’s been dying to meet someone like Kris for a long time. They both know how it feels to give up because having a dream is no longer enough to be happy. 

“Why didn’t you go back to school?” Adam asks. 

Kris looks away and picks up a stray piece of napkin from the counter to rip it to even smaller pieces. “Things came up. I never had a chance.”

Adam wants to ask what came up. He wants to know everything about this man, but he doesn’t push it. They can save the details for later. 

Their conversation stretches on for another hour. Adam can’t even recall what they’ve talked about. It’s mindless, easy conversation without uncomfortable pauses. Kris hangs on to every word Adam says, his eyes never stray, and sometimes he’ll reach out to touch Adam’s wrist.

“Don’t mean to interrupt.”

They look at Terrance and it feels like walking into a bright room after being in the dark for too long. The restaurant is empty and the chairs are already on the tables. Kris slips his hand out of Adam’s, blushing like crazy. 

“I’m so sorry, Terrance. Oh god, I’m the worst manager. I didn’t--” he looks at Adam and somehow his face gets even more red. “I got distracted.”

It’s obvious that Terrance is trying hard not to laugh. “It’s okay, boss. Adam seems to have that effect on people,” Terrance says and then turns to Adam. “So, are you coming, or…”

Adam glances at Kris, wanting him to say something. He wants him to say something so bad. But when he doesn’t, Adam slips off the stool. “Yeah, I’m coming.”

He doesn’t make it two feet before Kris reaches for his arm. “Don’t,” he says. His eyes are looking up at Adam, so big and honest, “stay with me.”

And how can Adam say no to that? He sits back down and reaches to touch Kris’s knee. “Okay,” he says. “I’ll stay.”

Kris responds by beaming at him. Terrance slips out sometime after that but Adam doesn’t remember saying goodbye. 

“I don’t want you to think I’m like a slut or anything because I’m not,” Kris starts, and Adam’s ears perk up. “Tonight was just really nice and I wouldn’t mind—you’re, um…”

Adam puts him out of his misery. “Are you asking me to back to your place?”

Kris looks up at him bashfully, “I was thinking your place. Mine’s a mess.”

Adam takes a deep breath because he was _not_ expecting this tonight, then he grabs Kris’s arm and drags him out the door and in the direction of his house. 

-

It only takes twelve minutes for them to get back to Adam’s house and thirty seconds to get Kris naked on the bed. Kris’s mouth is hot and he’s so fucking eager for every one of Adam’s touches and kisses. Adam doesn’t think he can get enough of it.

Kris breaks a kiss and his head falls back onto the pillow, grinning up at the ceiling while Adam works on his neck. “I don’t do this very often,” Kris says, slipping his hands under Adam’s shirt and slowly raking his nails over the skin of his back. Adam trembles just from being touched. It’s been too long. 

“I don’t either,” Adam says, kissing Kris’s cheek and then his mouth. “Not in a while.”

They pause for a moment. Kris’s eyes are big and sparkling up at Adam. The corner of his mouth twitches into a sweet smile and he looks relieved. “Good,” Kris whispers. 

Adam kisses him again, slow and deep, his fingers threading through Kris’s hair and pulling a little. He’s rewarded with a moan. It’s nice to feel wanted again, like there is nowhere the person beneath him would rather be than right here. Adam hopes that Kris feels the same because he hasn’t been with someone like this in a long time. 

Kris’s hands travel from Adam’s back to his chest, running his fingers over Adam’s nipples. He smirks at the slight hitch of Adam’s breath. 

“Fuck,” Adam groans, reaching down for Kris’s cock. It’s perfect, just the right size, and it’s making Adam’s mouth water. He pumps his fist a few times and Kris bucks his hips up into Adam’s hand. “First,” Adam says, nipping at Kris’s neck, “I’m going to suck you.”

Kris slaps Adam’s hand away from his dick and shakes his head. “No, _first_ , you’re going to get naked. I want to see you,” he says, pushing up for a kiss. “Later can you fuck me? I need you to,” he gasps, “please, Adam.”

Adam chuckles, “Patience, baby,” he says, touching Kris’s bottom lip with his finger before pushing it in his mouth. Kris sucks it down to the knuckle, breathing heavily through his nose as he locks eyes with Adam. It’s mesmerizing—those lips wrapped tight around Adams finger. He slips in another and Kris takes it with watery eyes and his throat contracting around the fingers, but doesn’t stop sucking. 

Adam pulls his fingers out and hastily unbuttons his jeans because he needs to get his cock in that mouth right now. Kris leans up on his elbows and watches Adam pull out his cock with hungry eyes. 

“I want it like this,” Kris says and opens his mouth just slightly. Adam almost comes just from that. 

Adam straddles Kris’s chest and slowly eases his cock into the tight heat of Kris’s mouth. He leans up to grasp the headboard and slowly fucks Kris’s face. Kris gags, just like he did around Adam’s fingers, but he keeps sucking, making noises around Adam’s cock like it’s the best thing he’s ever tasted in his life. 

“Holy fuck,” Adam says, sinking his teeth into his own arm just to have something to keep his mind off of Kris’s mouth and tongue so he doesn’t come so soon. He needs this to last as long as possible.

Kris’s hands come up to palm Adam’s ass, his nails running up and down the back of Adam’s thighs. Then he slips a finger between Adam’s cheeks, lightly brushing against his hole.

Adam comes, hard, right in Kris’s mouth and a little on his chin. Kris hums happily as he licks it all up. 

“That was _awesome_ ,” Kris says when Adam collapses next to him, his chest heaving like he just ran six miles. 

Adam looks at him. Kris’s hair is standing in every direction, his mouth is swollen and he looks delicious. “You’re evil,” Adam moans, rolls over onto Kris and claims his mouth. 

Kris grasps Adam’s shoulders and smiles devilishly up at him. “My turn,” he says, bucking his hips up, his cock hard against his stomach and wanting attention.

Adam gives it his full, undivided attention. 

-

The comforter and pillows are kicked to the floor along with their clothes, and outside the dark night sky is changing into a light blue. They’ve been dozing for the past few hours, waking every so often. Adam has been craving this for weeks. 

“This is so crazy,” Kris murmurs, sleepy eyes crinkled in the corners from smiling. He’s lying on his stomach with his chin on Adam’s chest, his fingers toying with Adam’s bangs. Adam keeps his hand wrapped tight around Kris’s bicep to keep him right there, warm and naked. 

Adam shifts on the mattress, slowly running his hand up and down Kris’s arm. “You’re so crazy. Putting out like that on the first date,” Adam says. He arches his back to stretch his sore muscles. “I feel so cheap.”

Kris presses a kiss to Adam’s collarbone, crawling up the mattress for Adam’s lips. “You’re one to talk. Pouncing on me as soon as we walk through the door,” Kris says. He touches his forehead to Adam’s and they have to cross their eyes to look at each other. 

“I like you,” Adam admits. There are dragons breathing fire in his stomach. He’s already been inside of Kris, tasted him, but this feels more intimate. 

Thankfully, Kris smiles. He brushes his thumb across Adam’s cheekbone. “I like you, too,” Kris says. They’re grinning like idiots and it’s perfect. 

“Good,” Adam says, tilts his chin up and claims Kris’s mouth for the thousandth time tonight. He makes a mental note to make Kris his famous omelets for breakfast because he doesn’t want this to just be a one-night-stand. 

They make out for a long time and never let their hands wander below the waist, but Adam can feel Kris’s cock getting hard against his thigh. Adam groans and tears his mouth away from Kris’s.

“I can’t,” he whines. “Too tired.”

Kris makes a ‘hmmm’ sound and licks a hot trail up Adam’s neck. “You can,” he says. Adam covers his face with his arm, biting down as Kris places open mouth kisses down Adam’s chest and stomach.

“No, I can’t,” Adam says again, but his cock betrays him. He curls his fingers in Kris’s hair to guide his head down until he’s mouthing Adam’s dick. 

Kris smiles, smug. “You can,” he says, and then wraps his lips around Adam’s cock for the second time tonight. 

-

The garbage truck outside his house wakes Adam. He stretches and looks up at the clock to see that it’s past noon. Adam closes his eyes again, reaching his arm out for Kris and grabs a fistful of cold sheets. His eyes fly open and he’s alone. The comforter and pillows are back on the bed and the only clothes on the floor are his own. 

Adam looks around for a note. He even gets out of bed and fans out the comforter incase it is hidden, but there’s nothing. There’s no trace of Kris. If it wasn’t for the bruises and bite marks on his skin, he’d think it never happened, just a vivid wet dream. 

His heart shouldn’t be broken. Most guys he sleeps with leave in the morning and Adam never gives it a second thought. This time there wasn’t much alcohol involved or foggy memories. There was conversation, an intense connection that Adam’s never felt so early before. They laughed and played and touched. 

Adam falls back into the bad, gathers up the covers, and sulks.

  


Kris stands with his feet on the dip of the sidewalk, rocking back and forth on his heels. His fingers are jammed in the pockets of his jeans to keep warm from the afternoon chill. The unmistakable sound of a school bus is heard from around the corner and Kris smiles.

It stops in front of their house and he looks up at the curious faces with bright backpacks and little hands pressed against the windows. Behind them, he sees a flash of blonde walking through the aisle towards the front. Ava grabs the railing and hops down the couple of steps onto the pavement, whipping her head around to say goodbye to the bus driver.

“Daddy!” Ava takes off towards him, jumping up into his arms when he’s within reach. “Are you going to pick me up every day?”

“I hope so, Bug,” he says, holding her up with one arm and picks up the book bag she dropped and throws it over his shoulder. “I got my new job so my schedule is more flexible.”

“Will grandma still take me to school?”

Kris heads up the driveway to their blue house with white shutters, and a tree with a tire swing dangling from a thick branch in the front yard. The house is small, only big enough for the two of them. Sometimes the roof leaks and the floorboards creak, but it’s home.

“Yup,” Kris says, putting her down when they get through the front door, tucking her book bag in the corner. “We’ll have to start leaving a few minutes earlier than we usually do.”

Ava doesn’t respond but he sees the scowl on her face and suddenly it’s like revisiting a dream. Everyone always tells Kris how much she looks like him. They share the same brown eyes and full bottom lip. It’s the rare moments like right now, when she turns to him with that look, and all he can see is Katy. 

Kris shakes his head and lets his mind cloud over that memory.

Ava climbs the barstool and reaches for an apple in the fruit bowl. She sets it on the center of the counter while Kris reaches for the peanut butter on the top shelf of the cupboard and a knife to cut the apple. 

“How was school?” he asks, slicing the apple into small pieces for them to share. It’s a routine that they usually save for when Kris brings her home from his mom’s house after work. 

“ _Horrible_ ,” she says, resting her cheek on her palm, looking dismayed. “Jordan spilled _paint_ on my sweater! I got mad and hit him and Mr. Lambert put me in time out.”

Kris dips a piece of his apple in the peanut butter. “It sounds like Mr. Lambert did the right thing. You shouldn’t be hitting your friends at school.”

“But-” she stutters to her defense.

“ _But_ nothing,” Kris says. “You’re going to apologize to Jordan. I’m going to have a talk with your teacher about this during our parent-teacher conference tomorrow night.”

Ava sighs far more dramatically than Kris has ever thought her to be. “Okay,” she says, stuffing more peanut butter than apple in her mouth. 

“Now go watch TV and color,” Kris says, cleaning up the apple core and the jar of peanut butter. “I’ll call you when dinner is ready.”

Ava shuffles off into the next room and Kris hears the television turn on. He heads to the bathroom and turns on the light, leaving the door open just a crack so he can keep an ear out for Ava. His reflection is tired with deep purple rings under his eyes. Kris’s fingers grip the porcelain countertop, closing his eyes for just a moment. 

It’s been difficult the past few years being a single father. He spends his nights playing with glitter glue and sitting in a pink plastic chair pretending to drink out of a miniature cup at a tea party with Barbie. Ava is patient with him when he tries to braid her hair, or tie it in a bow. 

Sometimes he just wants somebody to share it with.

Kris leans into the mirror, pulling down the collar of his shirt to reveal a bruise from last night. It’s still sensitive to the touch, remembering Adam’s teeth sinking into his skin. He tries not to dwell on the regret of leaving this morning; all of that pale skin stretched out on those dark sheets, everything in him was telling him to _stay_.

He should have stayed.

“Daddy?” Ava calls for him. Kris opens the door and sees her standing in the kitchen, an open coloring book in hand and her hair is no longer up in a braid. “What are you making for dinner?”

“Chicken nuggets.”

She smiles and disappears again into the other room. 

-

 _“All children, except one, grow up,”_ Kris reads.

 _Peter Pan_ has been Ava’s favorite character since she was three. She was Tinkerbell for Halloween last year and this year she wants to be Peter. Every night they curl up in bed, Kris’s ankles hanging over the edge of the mattress and her head pillowed on his shoulder. Sometimes she follows along with her finger, reciting the parts that she’s memorized.

 _“But who is he, my pet?”_ Kris animatedly reads, changing his voice from the mother’s to Wendy’s. He feels the rumble of his daughter’s laughter against his stomach. _“He is Peter Pan, you know, Mother.”_

Ava puts her hand over the page. “Daddy?”

“Yeah, Bug?” Kris says, placing the book down on his lap.

She sits up, crossing her legs and holding her stuffed bunny close to her chest. “Where’s Mommy?”

Kris panics. She’s been asking more about Katy lately and he knew she’d want to know where her mother is. He has been putting it off because how is he supposed to explain to her that she’s never going to know her mother. 

He opens his arms. “C’mere,” he says. Kris opens his arms and she shuffles into them, tucking her head under his chin. Kris rocks her back and forth a little and kisses the top of her head. “Your mommy loved you very much,” he says. “You have the same blonde hair. And sometimes your face reminds me of hers.”

“Really?” she asks, looking up at him, hopeful. “I look at my pictures of her a lot. She’s the prettiest girl ever.”

Kris feels the tears start to gather in his eyes. He presses a smile into her hair. “Yeah she is,” he says fondly. It’s been so long but he still loves Katy. He always will. “She went up to heaven a little after you were born. You were her little angel.”

Ava snuggles closer to Kris. He rests his cheek against the top of her head. “Did you know she’s the one that started calling you Bug?”

“She did?”

Kris nods, smiling at the memory. “Just after you were born, she was holding you and she couldn’t stop talking about how little you were. Then she said, ‘she’s our little bug’.”

“I wish I could meet her,” Ava whispers, and Kris isn’t even sure if he was meant to hear it. He just holds her even tighter, singing her a lullaby until she falls asleep.

  


The classroom is quiet. The only sound is of scissors cutting through construction paper and little fingers digging through buckets of markers and crayons.

Adam circles the room, looking over their shoulders at their drawings. He asked them all to draw their families so he can hang them on the wall for when their parents come tonight for conferences. It’s amusing to see a family through the eyes of a five-year-old. 

He stops behind Amy, smiling when he sees her family. On the pink construction paper, she drew herself holding the hands of her two moms. Next to them is a house that barely comes up to the middle of the stick figures, and above them is a big orange sun with bursts of red.

“Nice job,” he tells her, reaching down to point at all the empty space on her paper. “Maybe draw a sky and some clouds.”

Amy brings her hand to her mouth to study her drawing. “Can it be purple?”

“The sky can be any color you want it to be. It’s your world, so you can use your imagination,” Adam says, having drawn his fair share of pink skies and purple grass that his mom still keeps framed in her house. 

Excited, she reaches for the purple.

Adam has met most of their parents now that they are well into September. He knows what to expect when he looks down at Jordan’s drawing to see his aunt, who has raised him since he was two, and his dog. And Rebecca, whose mother only graduated high school a couple of years ago, drew the two of them with her mother’s boyfriend. 

Ava sits in the corner, her chin rested in her hands and her eyes casted on her drawing. Adam takes a seat next to her to take a look. The white sheet is almost covered completely with a big blue house. In the front stands two figures, the little blonde Adam recognizes as Ava, and a man with scribbled brown hair that Adam assumes is her father.

“You didn’t draw your grandma?” Adam asks, resting his elbows on his knees. 

“Nuh-uh,” she shakes her head and points to her picture. “I live with my daddy. Grandma only takes me to school and I used to go to her house after but my daddy got a new job so now he spends time with me.”

Adam smiles. “That’s wonderful,” he says. “Will I finally get to meet him tonight or is your grandma coming?”

Ava looks at him, her eyes bright. “Nope! Daddy said he’s gonna come tonight. I told him about hitting Jordan and he got mad and said he needs to talk to you about it.”

“Uh oh,” Adam says. “If you promise not to hit anyone else, I promise not to get you in trouble with your dad.”

She grins and nods her head. “I promise! I’ll never ever do it again. Even if Jordan spills paint on me, I won’t hit him.”

Adam chuckles. He really does love these kids. 

-

The Talbots close the classroom door behind them and Adam immediately reaches up to his neck to loosen his tie. It’s almost nine and he has met with fifteen parents today for conferences. He sits down on the alphabet rug just for a few moments of rest before he needs to prepare for tomorrow’s lesson with clay. 

Adam takes the tiny tyrannosaurus rex and some fat little green dinosaur in the toy box and smashes their heads together. In the back of his throat, he makes a small growling sound and then laughs at his own stupidity. He really needs more adult friends. Maybe he’ll go out with Terrance this weekend. 

Just as he tosses the dinosaurs back in the box, the classroom doorknob jiggles and there is a knock. Adam sighs, running his hand through his hair and pulls a little. 

“Go away,” he mumbles as he heads to the door, just quiet enough so the person on the other side of the door won’t hear but he kind of hopes that they do. 

When he opens the door it’s not the Talbots, or the Caterinos, or Rebecca’s mom. It’s Kris in wrinkled work pants, and an untucked shirt. He’s looking at Adam like he’s got three heads and a tail. Adam’s heart stings at the sight of his face.

“What are you doing here?” Adam asks, not budging from the doorway. He doesn’t even bother being professional and politely inviting Kris in. There is no way they are going to pretend the other night never happened. 

“I’m Ava’s dad,” he says, forcing a smile. “Sorry I’m late. Someone called in sick at work so I had to stay late to help out. I almost didn’t come but Ava hit that boy the other day and I figured I needed to talk to her teach—you about it.”

Adam’s head spins. All of his students’ faces are a blur in his mind but then he focuses on Ava. He thinks of her family portrait with only her father, and her dark eyes that are almost identical to Kris’s. 

“She’s an amazing kid,” Adam says sincerely.

Kris’s face nearly lights up the entire room at the mention of his daughter. “Yeah, she is,” he says. “She’s the coolest little girl ever.”

Adam steps to the side to let Kris in and closes the door behind the two of them. He watches as Kris strolls over to the wall lined with drawings and spots Ava’s. 

“She’s really talented,” Adam says, coming up to Kris’s side. “Did she tell you that she was the first to learn to tie her shoes?”

Kris nods and looks at Adam. That flame is still in his eyes from the other night. “She talks about school all the time,” he says. “I couldn’t wait to finally meet Mr. Lambert.”

Adam takes a deep breath to keep himself from jumping Kris and plastering him right up against the drawings. He can still taste Kris’s tongue and the stubble of Kris’s cheek against the sensitive skin of Adam’s inner thigh. 

Instead of eating Kris alive, he pulls up two small plastic chairs to the yellow table and sits down. If this were any other parent, they’d discuss how Ava is a really bright kid and the best in Adam’s class. He’d discuss the situation with Jordan and how he really had it coming because Jordan ruined a totally cute sweater. 

Adam doesn’t say any of that because he’s still bitter about waking up to an empty bed.

“You didn’t stay.”

Kris plops down in the chair next to him. “I didn’t know we were going to talk about this.”

“I thought we had an amazing time,” Adam says softly. “I don’t know if you were just looking for a quick fuck, but it sucked. I was going to make omelets.”

That startles a laugh from Kris and he hadn’t even meant it to be humorous but once it left his mouth he realizes how silly he sounds. But then Kris’s smile falters and he looks down, gently kicking the tennis balls at the bottom of the legs of the chair. 

“I did have an amazing time,” Kris admits. “You’re, like, the coolest guy I’ve met in a really long time.”

Adam slips his foot a bit closer to Kris’s, their toes almost touching. “Then why did you go?”

“Because of Ava,” Kris says. “She’s only five. I can’t bring people into her life like that.”

Adam wants to know what happened to Ava’s mother, but he doesn’t ask. 

“If things were different and I didn’t have her, I would’ve stayed. We could’ve woken up together and you could’ve made us omelets,” Kris pauses. “But I have to think of her needs before mine. Now that I know you’re her teacher—it just wouldn’t work.”

Adam lets out a dramatic exhale, sulking in his seat. He _likes_ Kris, and Adam usually gets the things he likes. Especially when they are pretty and small and have a nice mouth. Children have never been an obstacle. 

He shifts in his seat and sits upright, pushing the knot of his tie back up to his neck and puts on his best professional face. 

“So,” Adam starts. “Let’s start with the whole situation with Jordan.”

-

They linger in the doorway. The hallway is dark except for the light spilling out of his classroom. Kris bites his lip and Adam waits to hear what his goodbye will be.

“You’re an amazing teacher,” Kris says. “I know being a teacher wasn’t your dream and you wanted to sing, but you were meant for this, Adam. Ava admires you so much and I—thank you.”

Adam has never believed that before. He was settling for teaching, but, somehow, with Kris saying it, Adam thinks it may be true. 

“You’re welcome,” Adam says, staring down at their shoes. He cautiously glances up. “You know, Parents’ Day is coming up. It’s when the parents come and eat lunch with the kids and the, uh, teachers.”

Kris smirks. “Oh, really?”

Adam bites down on the inside of his bottom lip and reaches to run the back of his finger along the lapel of Kris’s jacket. “Will I see you there?”

Kris steps out into the hallway, tapping the door with his hand. “Yeah. I’ll see you.”

-

At home, the silence is so loud that Adam wants to scream. It’s buzzing in his ear and the ticking of the clock is taunting him. He turns on the light and rummages through the refrigerator for a snack, but the silence is still laughing in his ear. 

Adam drops the hummus on the counter and walks out of the kitchen. He sits on the floor in his living room and pulls out his phone. His finger hovers over his mom’s number for a moment, but not even he feels pathetic enough to cry to his mother. 

“Can you come over?” he says into the phone. He knows his voice gives him away.

Thirty-five minutes later, there’s a knock on his door. Terrance stands on the other side with that familiar look of pity in his eyes. He told Adam the other day to never feel lonely, so he’s hoping Terrance will pull him out of it. 

“You didn’t tell me Kris has a daughter.”

It’s the first thing he says to Terrance. They’re sitting on each end of the couch, Adam’s feet on Terrance’s lap. 

“I didn’t know,” Terrance says. “Kris keeps his life to himself. Even if I did know, I didn’t expect you to run off and fuck my boss.”

Adam sinks lower into the couch and crosses his arms over his chest, pouting. “His daughter is in my class,” he says. “That’s got to be against the teaching code to fuck your student’s dad.”

“You’re both consenting adults, Adam,” Terrance says. “I’m sure it’s okay for you to see each other.”

Adam feels sad. Like, eating chocolate ice cream until he explodes kind of sad. “He doesn’t want to. He told me that he can’t bring people into Ava’s life like that.”

Terrance curls his fingers reassuringly around Adam’s ankle. “It’ll be okay, sweetie. There will be other guys. Besides, dating a single father makes you a part-time dad as well. You’re not ready for that.”

Adam thinks about Ava and Kris, reading bedtime stories and then sharing a bed with Kris every night. It’s not that he wants that with _Kris_ necessarily—they’ve only met twice in their entire lives and Adam really isn’t ready to be any kind of father. He likes having kids for six hours a day and then they go to their parents. It’s just that closing in on thirty, Adam wants someone to come home to.

Adam sighs. “Let’s get some ice cream.”

  


The cafeteria smells the same as Kris’s did when he was a kid. There’s the same clatter of lunch trays and hundreds of young voices and laughter melding together. Ava drags him by the hand to an empty table and they sit with their spaghetti.

“I dunno how they knew pastetti is your favorite, daddy,” Ava says. Her chin already has drops of red sauce. “It’s not as good as grandma’s.”

Kris takes a bite. He’s not even sure if the sauce is actually tomato. Ava is definitely bringing her lunch from now on. “Nobody cooks as good as grandma.”

Ava nods in agreement, shoveling a forkful of pasta in her mouth and making a mess all over her face and shirt. Kris hands her a napkin. “Wipe your face.”

She cleans off her mouth only to make another mess with her next bite. “I’m happy you came here instead of goin’ to work like everyday. I was scared I’d be the only one without a mommy or a daddy to eat lunch with me.”

Kris feels a pang in his chest thinking of her alone in the cafeteria surrounded by all of her classmates and their parents. “You never have to worry about that, Bug. I’d never let you be by yourself.”

They finish the rest of their spaghetti and cartons of chocolate milk in silence. Ava has always been a quiet eater and Kris’s nerves are driving him up the wall. Every time somebody over four feet tall walks by, he tenses up, expecting to see legs that go on for miles and a pair of gorgeous blue eyes. 

After eating, they dump their trays at the nearest trashcan and bring it to the dishwashers. Kris makes sure Ava tells them ‘thank you’ and they head back to their table.

“Mr. Lambert!” Ava calls out, her mouth hanging wide open like it does whenever she gets excited, waving her arm madly. 

Kris’s body is perfectly still, afraid to make the slightest movement. But then he hears Adam’s voice behind him and he has no choice but to turn around. 

Adam looks gorgeous. His hair is styled up and he’s wearing a grey button-down with the sleeves rolled up. Kris wonders for the millionth time how he could ever be a teacher looking like that. Aside from pierced ears, he’s clean-cut and professional. It’s just unfair because his kindergarten teacher was a heavy-set older woman. He probably would’ve honed in on the bisexual thing at a much younger age if they were all made like Adam.

An uncontrollable smile spreads on Adam’s face when Kris holds his hand out. “You made it,” Adam says. It’s unnecessary for them to shake hands for as long as they do, but Kris doubts anyone notices. 

“I did,” Kris says. He shoves his hands in his pockets so that he doesn’t reach out for Adam again. For right now, he’s Mr. Lambert and not the guy he had sex with. It takes him a moment to remember why he told Adam they can no longer have sex, but then he looks at Ava. 

“Sit down next to me,” Ava says, an open spot on the bench for Adam. 

Adam makes sure it’s okay with Kris before he sits down. It’s uncomfortable to say the least. The only person not fidgeting and coming up with more than two word responses is Ava. She talks a mile a minute, too young to notice the tension at the table and that her daddy can’t stop staring at her teacher. 

“Daddy sings, too,” she says, sitting on her feet with her chin pressed into her palm, “just like you do.”

Adam’s face lights up. Kris is pretty sure they talked about this during their night together but Adam pretends to know nothing. “Oh yeah?” he says. “What does he sing?”

“At night, he sings me a lullaby and-and sometimes he goes to the bar to sing but I’m not allowed to go to those because I’m not old enough.”

Adam laughs. “No, you’re a little too young for that. I’m sure your dad’s amazing. I’d love to hear him sometime.”

Ava’s eyes get real wide and she leans forward to tug Adam’s arm. “Come over tonight, Mr. Lambert! Daddy is going to make tacos and they are much better than the ones they make here. He can sing for you.”

Adam looks absolutely panicked. He smiles at Ava but stares at Kris like a deer in headlights. Kris has never been good at denying Ava anything. She has this pout that feels like a spear straight through his chest. He’s not looking forward to when she asks for a car someday. 

“Err—Ava,” Kris starts. “Ada—Mr. Lambert probably has a lot going on tonight. It’s too short notice.”

There’s that friggin’ pout. “No he doesn’t!” Ava whines. She turns to Adam, jutting her bottom lip out and pulling out the best puppy eyes Kris has ever seen. “You don’t wanna come over?”

Adam’s mouth gapes open and close for a moment, his eyes darting back and forth. Kris can tell he’s trapped, but Adam leans forward and lowers his voice. “I’m trying to think of an excuse, really, but that face is lethal,” Adam says. “It can’t hurt, right? Just dinner and a song, maybe.”

Kris thinks this could be dangerous. He promised himself there would be no more Adam—or anyone—until Ava is older. Dinner can be innocent. There’s nothing suggestive about tacos and Ava will be there the whole time to keep them from doing anything they shouldn’t. 

“Right,” Kris says. “Dinner and a song.”

Ava’s squeal echoes throughout the entire cafeteria.

-

“I’ll get it, I’ll get it!”

Kris grabs her arm as she sprints past him and pulls her back towards the kitchen. “ _You_ finish setting the table. I’ll get the door.”

Ava stomps her feet towards the plates Kris set on the counter. He hurries to the foyer and checks himself out in the mirror real quick. _This isn’t a date,_ he tells himself. They’ve already established that there won’t be any dating. This is only dinner. 

Kris opens the door to the Adam he met at Nuvo, not the teacher that he saw today. His hair is free of product and looks really soft. Instead of a button-down, he’s wearing jeans that are perfectly tight and a black t-shirt. 

“Is that an offer?” Adam asks, wearing an impish grin on his face. Kris blinks, confused, and wonders what he was just thinking about and if he had just said any of it out loud. Then, Adam gestures towards his chest. “Your apron.”

Kris looks down at his ‘Kiss The Cook’ apron and smirks at Adam. “Not in front of the kid,” Kris says. He sidesteps to let Adam inside and his arm brushes Kris’s stomach as he passes. Kris doesn’t mean to touch his stomach afterwards.

“So,” Adam says, “this is awkward.”

Kris leans against the door. It’s _totally_ awkward, but it’s not uncomfortable. “C’mon, I’ll give you a tour of our humble abode.”

Adam follows close as Kris leads him into the kitchen. Ava drops the forks on the table when she sees Adam and catapults towards him. “Hey, kid,” Adam says, leans down and hugs her. “Dinner smells good. Did you make it or did your dad?”

“Daddy did but he let me shred the cheese!”

Adam smiles. “Well, I’ll just have to put extra cheese on mine.”

Kris walks over to the ground turkey sizzling in the pan and listens in on their conversation. “You look different,” Ava says. “Are you wearing _makeup_?” Kris stays turned towards the stove, laughing to himself. 

“Just a little bit,” Adam says, a soft edge to his voice that he must save for his students. “It brings out my eyes, don’t you think?”

“You look very handsome,” Ava tells him. Then, she asks, alarmingly, “Daddy, doesn’t Mr. Lambert look handsome?”

Kris drops the spatula and chokes on his own breath. He glances at them over his shoulder and Adam looks like he’s about to die from holding back his laughter. “Yeah, dad, do you think I look handsome?” Adam says, like the little shit that he is. 

“I think he looks very handsome,” Kris says, mostly because he wants to humor Ava, and, well, he really does. “Not as pretty as you, though, Bug.”

Ava giggles with delight. 

-

The living room lights are dimmed and the blue from the television flickers over Ava’s face as she sleeps, curled between Kris and Adam. They’re full from tacos and ice cream, enjoying the quiet moment together, talking about their lives in hushed voices. 

“I should put her to bed,” Kris says, touching his thumb to Ava’s hairline, careful not to wake her. He looks up at Adam, who’s watching him with soft eyes. “You’ll stay for a little while?”

Adam smiles, looking warm from the wine. “Take her to bed,” he says. “I’ll be here.”

Kris picks Ava up, her legs falling over one arm and her head restinh on his shoulder, never waking. He’s thankful she’s already asleep so he doesn’t have to read her a bedtime story. Adam’s downstairs waiting and he’s eager to get back. 

He places her on her purple sheets and covers her with the comforter. Ava frowns for a moment and then settles back into her slumber. Kris leans down and presses a kiss to her forehead. 

“G’night, Bug,” he whispers, turns to plug in her nightlight and leaves the bedroom door open just a crack. 

Adam is pouring himself another glass of wine when Kris gets downstairs. He looks incredibly gorgeous, his hair now swept over his forehead and a little sleepy. Kris resists going over to him for a kiss because he told himself that they wouldn’t be doing that anymore. He sits on the other end of the couch to try to keep his distance. 

Distance doesn’t seem to be in Adam’s vocabulary because he sprawls his long legs over the couch, tucking his toes under Kris’s thigh. 

“You guys have a good life here,” Adam says, his cheek resting on the back of the couch. “You’ve got this single dad thing down. I don’t know if I could do it.”

Kris shrugs as if it’s no big deal. Raising Ava has been the best thing he has ever done in his life. “We’re like the _Gilmore Girls_ ,” Kris says with a laugh. 

Adam snorts. “What do _you_ know about _Gilmore Girls_?”

Kris blushes and mentally blames it on the wine. It’s a good show, okay? There are a lot of music references and Lauren Graham is hot. “Ava’s mother used to watch it all the time when we were teenagers. Sometimes I catch Ava watching it, but I don’t think she gets half of what they’re talking about.”

“Cute,” Adam says. “So if you’re like the Gilmore Girls, does that make me Luke?”

Kris wrinkles his nose. “I think I’d be Luke, actually. I’ve got the restaurant and the plaid part down,” he says. “You’ve got those blue eyes like Lorelai.”

Adam looks down; his tongue runs over his bottom lip. Slowly, he meets Kris’s eyes again. “You know they end up together in the end.”

Kris’s heart is beating like mad. His ears are hot and Adam wriggles his toes under Kris’s thigh to make him smile. 

Adam clears his throat. “Can I—this might be out of my place, but I’ve been curious. What happened to Ava’s mother?”

The fire Kris feels is put out. His chest feels tight like it always does when he thinks of Katy. “We were eighteen when we had Ava. For the first few months, she was the best mom. I had to work and she took classes online so she could work towards a degree. Somehow we made it work despite how young we were.”

Adam shifts closer on the couch for Kris’s hand and squeezes tight. 

“I was working late and she needed to go to the store. Ava cried a lot so Katy dropped her off at my parents’ so she could do what she needed quickly. She went through an intersection and—and someone went through the red light.”

It has taken him a long time to be able to tell the story without crying. There are tears falling down Adam’s cheeks, though, disappearing under his chin. He pulls Kris in his arms and holds him close.

Kris grips Adam’s shirt until his knuckles are white. “I stay up at night thinking—what if she didn’t drop Ava off at my parents? They’d both be gone. I’d have nothing.”

Adam scratches his nails against Kris’s scalp. “Shhh,” he whispers, his mouth pressed to Kris’s hair. “Don’t think ‘what if’, okay? She’s alive and happy and has such an amazing dad.”

Kris releases his grasp on Adam’s shirt and leans back in his arms. “I know,” he says. “I’m okay most of the time. I just needed you to know why I can’t be with anyone for real yet. I wanted to that night we were together. It’s too soon.”

“You don’t have to explain, Kris.”

“No, I do. I want to—with you.” He doesn’t even know what he’s saying. As much as he’s not ready, he still wants Adam. “I don’t know what I want or what you’re looking for but I liked tonight and the other time. Being with you. I like that.”

Adam’s smile is innocent and beautiful. “I like that, too.”

Kris doesn’t know when Adam’s face got so close, his mouth is _right there_. He closes his eyes and waits for Adam to kiss him. 

-

In the morning, Kris doesn’t expect Adam to be there, but he’s surprised to see a note.

_I left right when the sun came up so Ava wouldn’t see her teacher in bed with her dad. I don’t know what this is between us but it doesn’t have to stop. No strings attached?_

_Here’s my number. Use it._

Underneath ten digits are scribbled and Kris scrambles for his phone. After entering Adam’s number, he falls back into the pillows and sends out a quick text.

_this is me using your number_

His phone vibrates not even a minute later.

_kris!!! You still owe me a song._

_next time :)_

  


Adam is drunk.

Everything is so beautiful when he’s drunk. Terrance has the most beautiful eyes that he has ever seen. They’re like those bottles of honey shaped like bears! The music is so beautiful that Adam just had to get on his chair to dance to it twice. Two guys touched his thighs and that was definitely beautiful. 

Terrance is just as shitfaced as he is, clutching an empty margarita glass in his hand. “I want a boy,” he says. His heavy-lidded eyes search the bar and he mutters, “boys, boys, boys,” under his breath.

Adam nods and doesn’t stop because it makes his head feel really cool. “My boy is an _asshole_. He doesn’t want to fuck me,” he says. “Who wouldn’t want to fuck me? Have you seen my dick?”

Terrance knocks a beer bottle over as he reaches across the table. “I have! It’s, like, huge. You’re totally good in bed, too. Remember when we had sex? That was good.”

Adam touches his hand and smiles because that’s such a nice thing to say. His mind drifts to sex with Terrance because that was _so good_ , but not he’s drunk enough to go down that route again.

“You should find a new guy!” Terrance exclaims. “One without a kid. Kids are annoying.”

Adam agrees. Who needs big manager guy Kris from Nuvo, anyway? He only wants Adam for his dick. Adam knows his dick is awesome, though, so he can’t blame him. He would want it too if it weren’t already there. 

There’s a boy a few tables away that Adam noticed when he walked in. He thinks the boy might be gay but he didn’t try touching Adam when he danced on the chair but those boys weren’t that cute. This boy is. Adam wants this one.

He gets up and wobbles a little on his legs. Those last few shots were not a very good idea but they made him forget about Kris. Except for right now because he’s thinking about not thinking about Kris. 

“Hi,” Adam says to cute boy. He’s even cuter up close and Adam thought there were two at first but now his head has come into focus. “I’m Adam.”

Cute boy laughs. Adam thinks it’s a more of a ‘aw, you’re cute’ laugh than a ‘you drunk idiot’ laugh. 

“Landon,” he says, his hand lingers long enough for Adam to do a mental fist pump. _Yay, he’s gay!_.

Adam walks back to the table a little while later with a phone number and a hickey. “Not where the kids can see them!” he told Landon. All he did was stare at Adam, confused, and then unbuttoned his shirt to latch on to Adam’s collarbone instead of his neck. 

When Adam wakes up the next morning, he can’t remember who gave him the hickey and a number on his hand that he stores in his phone for later. Even if he doesn’t remember the guy’s face, he couldn’t have been too bad.

There’s also not a single text from Kris.

Whatever.

-

It takes two weeks for Adam to hear from Kris. Adam tries not to care. If Kris wanted to see him, he’d call or text, send out a smoke signal. 

So when Adam finally gets the text, he’s surprised. It’s a Saturday afternoon and Adam went straight from his bed to his couch, sprawled out in his red boxer briefs, flipping through the channels.

 _come over_ , the text says. 

Adam considers dropping the phone to the floor and ignoring it but his cock thinks that’s the worst idea he’s ever had.

_when?_

It’s the most excruciatingly long moment of Adam’s life. As much as he adores Ava, she better not be scheming another dinner or a tea party. Adam just wants to see Kris and have sex. His body is on fire and he’s already half hard.

_now._

-

Adam’s knuckles barely graze the door before it opens. Kris stands there in pajama pants and nothing else. He isn’t smiling or saying a word, just a heaving chest and a hungry look in his eyes. 

“Where’s Ava?” Adam asks to make sure they’re alone. 

“My mom took her out for the day.”

Adam reaches out and presses his hand flat against Kris’s bare chest. He can feel his heart racing under his palm and his skin is burning. Kris moves backwards and Adam follows. As soon as the front door closes, he curls his fingers around Kris’s neck and pulls him into a kiss. 

They never make it up to the bedroom. Stairs are too difficult to climb with Kris tugging at his jeans. They settle for the living room floor. Carpet is a burden to Adam’s knees but Kris spread out in front of him makes it worth the pain. 

“Just do it,” Kris pants. “Fuck me.”

As Adam slowly eases in, he knows he won’t last.

-

The second time Adam lasts much longer. He’s still on the floor, naked, waiting for Kris to come back with the washcloth. They haven’t even talked aside from the filthy nonsense they muttered while Adam fucked him. 

“I’m a mess,” Kris says when he walks back into the room.

Adam looks up at Kris. He’s naked, covered in bite marks from the shoulders down, wiping his own come from his stomach. It’s like a scene from a porno. 

Kris stands over Adam, a foot on either side of his stomach, and kneels down so he’s straddling him. “Look at you,” he smirks. “It’s all over.”

Adam startles when the damp cloth touches his chest. “S’your fault,” he says, enjoying the attention Kris is giving him. It leaves wet trails down his stomach, springing goose bumps all over his body. 

Kris cleans Adam off and gets back up. When he comes back, he has his pajama pants on and Adam’s boxer briefs in his hand. “Put these on,” Kris says. “I can’t concentrate when you’re naked.”

Adam pouts. He really likes being naked with Kris. They need to do it more often and they are going to from now on if he has any say in it. No strings attached means sex—a lot of sex. But he does as he’s told and pulls them on, stands up and plops down next to Kris on the couch. 

They sit in a comfortable silence for a while. Kris has his legs thrown over Adam’s lap and he scrolls through the guide on the television. He ignores Adam every time he perks up over a show, like a rerun of _True Blood_. Finally, Kris settles on a football game.

Adam stares at him with disbelief. “If you ever want to have sex with me again, you will change the channel.”

Kris clutches the remote to his chest. “My house, my rules.”

Adam pushes Kris’s legs from his lap and crawls towards him. He slowly runs his fingers along Kris’s side, wriggling them when he finds that spot he discovered last time they had sex and Kris squirms underneath him, laughing.

“Okay!” Kris says, breathless and red. He turns off the television and drops the remote on the floor. “We can make out instead.”

They kiss for a long time; their hands stay above the waist but roam every inch of bare skin like they hadn’t already twice today. Kris’s mouth is becoming a dangerous addiction and Adam never wants to stop. It’s enough for him to not hear the car pull up in the driveway or the front door open. 

“Oh my.”

Adam almost doesn’t hear it, thinks the television accidentally turned back on. But then Kris is pushing Adam off of him and scooting back on the couch, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. 

“Mom!” he shouts, and suddenly Adam is sixteen again, getting caught sneaking into his boyfriend’s bedroom. “Wha—you… get _out_!”

Ava is staring at them with wide eyes, holding on to her grandma’s hand. Adam feels sick to his stomach and Kris doesn’t look much better off. It’s only now that Adam truly realizes why a relationship between them won’t work. There are lines that shouldn’t be crossed and they have, repeatedly. 

As Kris’s mom walks away, tugging Ava behind her, he hears, “Grammy, why was Mr. Lambert on top of Daddy?” and Adam wants to die. 

-

While getting dressed, they don’t even look at each other. They walk into the kitchen and Mrs. Allen is smirking over a cup of coffee. Ava is at the table with a giant swirly lollipop and has hopefully forgotten what she had just seen, but she’s a smart kid so Adam doubts it. Kris’s face is tomato red and his shoulders are hunched, ashamed.

“Mr. Lambert,” Mrs. Allen says. “It’s nice to see you again.”

“Ma’am, I am _so_ sorry,” he says, having never felt lower in his life. “I know how unprofessional this is. I’m Ava’s teacher and for her to see this is inappropriate. You have every right to be upset with me and I promise this will never happen again.”

She laughs. _Laughs._ Like Adam’s sincerity is humorous to her. He looks at Kris for help but he looks just as dumbfounded. 

“Oh, sweetie, I’m not angry,” she says. “Surprised, yes. I didn’t know you two were—but Ava didn’t see anything that will scar her for life. It’s my fault, anyway. I should’ve called before I dropped Ava off.”

A wooden chair scrapes against the tile and tiny footsteps hurry through the kitchen. “Daddy!” Ava tugs on Kris’s arm and he finally shows some sign that he hasn’t died from mortification. “We went to the zoo and I fed a goat.”

Kris smiles and picks her up. “Yeah, that’s awesome. Did you see the penguins?”

“Yup! One of the babies fell over and couldn’t get back up. It was so funny,” she says, excited, and turns to Adam. “Mr. Lambert, did you have fun with daddy?”

A fish out of water. His mouth is agape, he can’t breathe and his eyes bulging from his head. He’s a fucking fish out of water. Thankfully Kris thinks quicker than he does. “We had tons of fun,” Kris says. “We went to the pool.”

Adam mentally applauds Kris for the explanation for them being almost naked. Next to him, Kris’s mom looks like she’s about to burst from laughter. Ava, on the other hand, isn’t convinced. “You guys were kissing, though,” she says, “I saw you!”

Fuck.

“I always kiss people I care about,” Kris says, his eyes flicker to Adam and suddenly everything doesn’t seem so bad. “He’s my friend and I care for him.”

It gets quiet and Adam thinks everyone is just trying to figure out what the hell is going on. Ava seems to take the explanation and goes back to her lollipop. Kris is avoiding Adam’s eyes again for a whole different reason, and Mrs. Allen has a knowing smile on her face. 

“Well,” she says. “You guys go wash up. I’m going to cook up something for dinner.”

They leave the room and watch _iCarly_ until the food is ready.

-

It’s late and Mrs. Allen—Kim, as she told Adam to call her—is putting Ava to bed. Adam finds himself alone with Kris on the front steps, all smiles and quiet conversation. The night didn’t go like Adam had expected. They were just supposed to have sex and Adam would leave and they wouldn’t see each other again until neither of them could go another day without it. 

“I love your family,” Adam says. It had been an amazing evening. Kim made the most delicious fettuccini alfredo with chicken, garlic bread, and brownies for dessert. They watched _Harry Potter_ afterwards and Adam had Kris pressed warm against his side and Ava lying across their laps. 

Kris smiles wide and Adam realizes how much he likes this man. “They’re amazing,” Kris says, looks down and takes one of Adam’s hands. “I’m really glad you stayed.”

“Me too,” Adam says, squeezing Kris’s hand. “So, I’ll see you around, maybe, at Nuvo?”

Kris looks surprised. They both know Adam has been avoiding that place like the plague. He thinks it’s okay to go now. “And I’ll text you,” Kris says, and Adam believes that he will.

Adam lets go of his hand and takes a step down. “Am I allowed to kiss you goodbye or is that against the ‘friends-with-benefits’ code of conduct?”

Kris is taller than him now, standing on the step above Adam, and he wraps his arms around Adam’s shoulders. “Goodnight kisses are definitely allowed,” he says and leans in for a chaste kiss. It only lasts for a moment, a few soft pecks and happy sighs. They pull away with smiles. 

“G’night, Mr. Lambert,” Kris whispers, and goes in for one last kiss.

  


At fifteen, Kris had his first boyfriend. His name was Ryan. They’d kiss behind the shed in Kris’s backyard, hold hands in the dugout during baseball practice when everyone else was on the field, and fumbled with their hands down each other’s pants as they quickly got each other off after school before his parents got home.

It’s nine years later and that’s how Kris feels with Adam. 

Around Ava, they are Mr. Lambert and her father. At Nuvo, they laugh and share brief touches or glances, nothing that would make them come off more than close friends. Behind closed doors, alone in the bedroom, they drop the façade and are whoever they want to be.

Right now, when the restaurant doors are closed and minutes away from being open, they’re friends. Sometimes Adam surprises him with coffee and cherry danishes on the weekends when Kris has to open. He watches as Kris takes the chairs down from the tables and mops the floors if they hadn’t been done the night before. 

“Are you coming over tonight?” Adam asks, leaning over the counter, hopeful and grinning. 

Kris looks at Adam and feels a little helpless because he’s so _cute_. He drops the towel to the floor and leans his elbows on the counter in front of Adam. Their kiss feels like quiet mornings and tastes like coffee. 

Adam pulls away and then goes back in to kiss the corner of Kris’s mouth. “Should I take that as a yes?” he asks.

Kris nods and it’s only meant to be one kiss but it turns into five. He’s trying to learn self control because he and Adam aren’t together. Adam is just a little bit perfect and sometimes Kris wishes he could dive in headfirst.

Then he remembers his daughter.

He clears his throat and steps away from the counter. “You gonna hang around for a while?”

Adam uses his long legs to spin himself around in circles on the stool. “Yeah, I have to wait until Terrance gets here so he can tell me about his audition the other day,” he says. “I don’t only come here for you.”

Kris looks at Adam like, _oh please,_ “That’s a lie.”

Adam breaks his straight face and laughs. “You’re right, it is.”

His heart races, just a little. 

-

There’s a twenty-minute wait to get into Nuvo and they’re one person short on the wait staff. Kris is sweaty from running around, a towel thrown over his shoulder to assist Terrance at the bar. People stop waving him down for a drink and he finally gets a second to breathe. 

At the small table in the corner, Adam sits with Ava. She’s got her _Toy Story_ coloring book open and crayons spilled all over the table. Adam listens so intently, nods every so often, like every word she says is important. Kris can’t take his eyes off of them. 

“It’s okay to be in love with him.”

Kris looks at Terrance. He’s standing behind Kris, ignoring the customers waiting to order. Terrance reaches up and squeeze his shoulder. “It’s _okay_ ,” Terrance says again. 

It’s ridiculous. He can’t be _in love_ with Adam. They’ve known each other for a couple of months and the only time they spend together is when they’re having sex, or going to have sex later on. 

“I’m not in love with him,” Kris says, not all that convincing because he can’t take his eyes off of Adam. “He’s my friend.”

Terrance laughs at him. “Friends don’t have sex every night.” Terrance exaggerates. It’s not _every_ night. Four times a week, tops, and Adam always leaves in the morning. “Maybe you’re not in love with him yet, but you could be if you let yourself. Look at your daughter. She’s crazy about him.”

Right on cue, he hears the squeal of Ava’s laughter. She’s got her hands over her mouth and her face is beet red. Next to her, Adam has his hands up to his face, waving them animatedly, doing God knows what, but it’s got Ava hysterical. 

Adam looks up, doing a double take when he sees that Kris is staring back. He’s looking at Kris like, _isn’t she the coolest kid?_ and Kris has to smile back because she really is. 

Kris watches for just a moment longer, saving the image of them to carry him through the rest of his day, and helps the next customer.

  


The only times they text is when they want to see each other. Sometimes Adam wants to send one just to see how Kris is doing, or tell him something cute that happens in the classroom, but he never does because that might be crossing the line into relationship.

It’s a Sunday and Adam wants to see Kris. They can meet up for dinner—alone. As much as he loves Ava, the only time she’s not around is when they’re having sex. 

Adam sends out a quick text. 

_wanna meet up?_

He stares at the screen and it only takes a few seconds for it to light up with Kris’s response.

_where?_

They agree to meet in an hour for dinner. It’s not a date, but Adam searches his closet for his nice jeans.

-

Their not-a-date feels a little like a date. Kris picks Adam up instead of meeting at the restaurant like they planned. He opens doors for Adam—out of politeness, probably—and they sit close in the booth, daring the other to take a bite of wasabi. They kiss a few times. Adam can’t help himself because the lighting makes Kris look really great. 

“You’re supposed to hold them like this,” Adam says, taking Kris’s hand to put the chopsticks correctly in his fingers. He looked like a five-year-old the way he had them clutched in his fist before. 

It lasts a minute and then Kris drops them and reaches for a fork instead. Adam rolls his eyes. “You’re impossible, Kris.”

Kris blushes, doing that cute thing where he wrinkles his nose. Adam really wants to kiss him, so he does and Kris lets out a surprised gasp. He smiles against Adam’s lips. 

The waitress comes, looking at them like they are a couple of puppies. Adam doesn’t even blush; he just presses even closer to Kris, putting his hand on Kris’s thigh. She hands them the bill and Kris reaches for his pocket but Adam slaps it away.

“Don’t even think about it,” Adam says, his hand still touching Kris’s. He figures it will cancel out the date-like quality of the evening since Kris picked him up. “It’s the least I can do.”

After paying, Adam turns to Kris. He’s humming something softly, his fingers toying with one of his chopsticks. Adam nudges him with his shoulder. “What are you singing?” he asks. 

Kris looks up, shy, like Adam wasn’t supposed to hear. “Nothing,” he says, eyes on Adam’s lips and goes in for another kiss. 

As they pull away, Adam suddenly remembers. 

“Hey, you still owe me a song.”

-

That night, they lay close in Adam’s bed. Their noses are almost touching and Kris’s hand is curled around Adam’s wrist.

“Sing,” Adam whispers.

Kris shifts just a little bit closer to kiss Adam. “I don’t have my guitar.”

Adam closes his eyes. “No guitar. I just want to hear your voice.”

He starts with a hum as he strokes Adam’s wrist with his thumb. And when he sings, his voice is raspy, low, and beautiful. Adam doesn’t know the song, but it’s like a sucker punch to his gut. Kris’s voice feels like it’s wrapping around him. 

_You’ve got a way of making me stay._

Adam opens his eyes when Kris stops singing. He feels the ghost of Kris’s breath over his lips. Kris’s eyes are big, vulnerable. Adam knows the feeling of opening up to someone like this, with nothing more than the rawness of his voice. 

“Gorgeous,” Adam says. It seems to be the right thing to say because Kris looks happy. 

“Now you,” Kris says, and this time he closes his eyes.

It’s the first song that comes to mind. He doesn’t mean anything by it, honestly, but Kris’s eyes fly open as soon as he realizes the song.

_I can’t make you love me if you don’t._

Adam only sings the verse and the chorus. By the time he’s finished, Kris looks entranced. “Wow,” Kris says. It makes Adam want to curl up under the covers and kick his feet like a teenage girl.

They fall asleep, facing each other, smiles on their faces. In the morning, Kris is still there and Adam finally makes him omelets.

  


Adam ends up coming over to Kris’s because his mom couldn’t take Ava for the night. Of course, Ava is over the moon about it because there’s nothing she likes more than being with Kris and Adam, but Kris wanted some adult time that doesn’t involve anything frilly or bouncy music. They decide to watch _E.T._ because Ava thinks the ending is “the most best ever.”

“Adam!” Ava calls to the kitchen—she dropped the Mr. Lambert weeks ago whenever they’re not at school. “Put more extra butter on the popcorn!”

Kris tickles her side. “You don’t need extra butter, Bug.”

She sticks her tongue out at him and they both know she’s getting the extra butter because Adam is the worst at saying no to either of them. 

The smell of popcorn wafts in from the kitchen and Adam soon follows with a giant blue bowl. He sits on the other side of Ava, puts the bowl in her lap, and rests his arm along the back of the couch, his fingers resting on the back of Kris’s neck. 

“Hit play, daddy!” she demands, plunging her hand into the bottom of the bowl and stuffs her face.

Kris’s finger hesitates on the ‘play’ button. “You know you don’t ask for things like that in this house.”

Ava sighs and Kris is pretty sure she rolls her eyes as well. “ _Please_ press play.”

Kris and Adam glance at each other, smiling, and he presses play. 

-

Ava falls asleep towards the end, just as the flowers bloom as E.T. comes back to life. Adam’s hand has never left Kris’s neck. He runs his fingers along the side, tickling it and occasionally massaging his shoulder. 

“Wake up, baby girl,” Kris whispers, shaking Ava softly. She stretches and rubs her eyes. “Let’s go put you to bed, alright?”

Ava whines and curls into Adam’s side. “I wanna stay up with you and Adam.”

Adam juts out his bottom lip. “Aw, let her stay up.”

They both pout at him. Kris stands up and puts the empty popcorn bowl on the table. He points to Adam, “You, be quiet. And you,” Kris says, messing up Ava’s blonde hair, “are going to bed.”

“Will you sing me the sunshine song?”

Kris picks her up and she’s already dozing off on his shoulder. Adam follows them close up the stairs and into her room but stays near the doorway while Kris puts Ava to bed. 

She settles in with her bunny and doesn’t close her eyes until Kris starts to sing. “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,” he whispers, rocking her a little in his arms. This will always be his favorite part of the day and he dreads when she gets too old for her dad to sing her a lullaby. 

Adam is watching them with a look in his eyes that makes this moment feel kind of important. Kris keeps on singing, staring right back at Adam, and it’s the most intimate moment they’ve ever shared. It suddenly doesn’t seem so scary letting Adam into their life, sharing these moments with him always. 

But then Kris thinks of Katy, how she was there and then she wasn’t, and he has to stop letting himself slip up. He’s the only person Ava needs right now. 

After Kris tucks Ava in and kisses her forehead, he turns back around and Adam’s gone. Kris flips the switch to the nightlight and keeps the door open just a bit and hurries off to his bedroom. Adam is sitting on the bed, staring down at his hands. 

“I can’t keep doing this,” Adam says, lifting his head to look at Kris, pain in his eyes. 

Kris wants to touch Adam, but he’s paralyzed where he stands. “Can’t do what?”

“This thing with you. I thought being friends who mess around would be fun. And it was at first, but I can’t do it anymore. I’m too in love with you to keep pretending I’m not.”

Kris is having trouble breathing. Adam certainly would never leave Kris. He’s got to know that Kris wants this just as much but he _can’t_. “I thought you understood why I can’t be with you like that.”

Adam closes his eyes and breathes, collecting himself. “You already are,” Adam says. “We’ve been in a relationship for weeks and you’re too stupid to realize it. The only problem is that you won’t admit that you want to be with me.”

Kris sits down on the floor because his legs won’t let him stand anymore. He stares at a single blue stripe on his comforter and tries to stay calm. “You know I want to be with you. I let myself slip and I didn’t mean to. We were just supposed to have sex, but then I got to know you. You’re amazing.”

“Then what’s wrong?” Adam asks. “We’re good together.”

“I’ve got Ava to think about. She comes first, Adam,” he says and looks up. “What happens if we break up? She’d get even more attached to you and then you’d leave. It’s not fair to her.”

A frustrated growl escapes Adam’s throat. “You think I would just leave?” he asks, his voice raising louder than it should be and will probably wake Ava. “I love that kid to death. I know this is going to sound pathetic but sometimes I look at the family portrait she drew of the two of you and want to be drawn in. I want to be a part of what you guys have.”

Every word that leaves Adam’s mouth hurts Kris more than the last. It wasn’t supposed to end up this way. Neither of them were supposed to fall in love. 

“I can’t,” Kris whispers. He looks at Adam and hopes he sees how sorry he is. “I wish I could, but I can’t.”

Adam doesn’t move or say anything. He just keeps staring. For a moment, Kris thinks maybe Adam didn’t hear him. After a long while, Adam stands up and walks away. It feels like Kris’s heart is being trampled on as he hears the footsteps descend down the stairs and the front door close. 

“Daddy?” Kris looks over his shoulder at Ava. She stands in the doorway in her nightgown, one hand on the doorknob and the other holding her bunny by the ear. “Is Adam coming back?”

“No, Bug,” he says. “I don’t think he is.”

Ava drags her tiny feet against the carpet and sits down on his lap. She reaches her hand up to touch his cheek. “You can cry if you want to.”

Kris doesn’t cry, but he holds Ava for a really long time.

  


Adam lets himself sulk for two days. He spends the first day on the couch eating ice cream and watching sad movies. The second day he invites Terrance over so they can talk about it. On the third day, his brother, Neil, wakes him up before the sun is even fully out and verbally kicks his ass.

“You’re an idiot,” Neil says. Adam can hear him rummaging around his refrigerator for some food. “There’s nothing good that can come out of you having sex with a student’s dad.”

Adam is standing in the living room, buttoning up his shirt. He’s been feeling anxious ever since he went to bed last night about seeing Ava. She has got to know something happened and Adam is afraid she won’t want to talk to him. 

“I didn’t know he was her dad at first,” Adam tells him for the fourth time. 

Neil pokes his head out from behind the fridge. “So you seduced him and dragged him back to your lair?”

“I didn’t _drag_ him,” Adam says, remembering the first day. “I think it was his idea, actually.”

A moment later, Neil emerges with a huge plate of leftover Chinese and a glass of milk. Adam’s stomach churns because it’s only 7:30 in the morning. The only thing he can consume this early is two cups of coffee.

“You aren’t even ready to take on the dad role,” Neil says, finally continuing where they left off on their conversation. “I don’t think kids are into that glam shit.”

“Everyone keeps saying that but who is ever ready to be a dad?” Adam asks. He’s thought about this a lot and it’s finally making sense to him. “It just happens. Kris and Ava—they just happened.”

Neil drops his fork and looks at Adam seriously for the first time since he got there. “I know you’ve always dreamt of someday having this perfect little life with a husband and kids,” he says. “Kris just wasn’t it for you, but you will find it with someone else.”

Adam sits next to Neil at the table. His shirt is untucked and his hair isn’t even done yet. He knows that Neil is right. Kris isn’t the last guy in the world and he’ll find another one when the time is right. It’s just hard when, at the moment, he doesn’t want anyone else.

“It’s weird when you’re nice,” Adam says, sneaking a piece of Neil’s honey chicken, “but thank you.”

Neil takes a giant bite of fried rice. “Honestly, I just came here for the food. You’re the one that talked my ear off as soon as I walked in.”

Adam reaches for another bite. “Asshole.”

-

Ava hugs Adam when she walks in the classroom that morning. It hurts Adam so much that from now on he’ll be nothing but a teacher to her. She looks so much like Kris’s that it only makes Adam miss him more than he already does. 

“Are you sad?” she asks, her small arms resting on Adam’s shoulders. He nods and she frowns. “So is daddy. I don’t know why you had to stop being friends.”

“It’s complicated,” Adam says. He doesn’t know what Kris has told her so he doesn’t want to say anything.

“Oh,” Ava says. She looks down, thinking hard about something. “Well, can I still call you Adam when the other kids aren’t around?”

Adam hugs her again. “Of course you can,” _Bug_ , his mind supplies, but he doesn’t say it.

-

Adam finds a new Friday night place, Marvin’s, because Nuvo is so out of the question from now on. He has to actually pay for his wine at Marvin’s but that’s okay because Kris isn’t behind the bar looking adorable and demanding and all manager-like. 

The manager at Marvin’s is fat and has a beard. Adam wonders if he’s Marvin.

There’s a waitress who Adam adores named Anne. She’s already gotten in trouble three times with possibly-Marvin for sitting next to Adam and chatting. Anne thinks Kris is a butthead and Adam can do much better. 

“Go talk to that boy! Oh-- _oh_ , how about that one?” She points out two considerably cute boys but fails to notice that they are sitting with girls. “Wait. I know a guy who’d be perfect for you. I think he’s gay but he hasn’t told me yet.”

Adam almost spits out his wine. If he didn’t love dick so much, he’d ask Anne out. She’s an amazing little spitfire. 

“I’m okay for now, but thank you, sweetie,” he says and reaches to squeeze her hand. “You should get back to work, though. I think Marvin is getting mad.”

Anne looks to her left. “Mar—oh no that’s Steve. I don’t know if Marvin even exists. He’s probably dead,” she shrugs. “I’ll be back. Don’t leave, okay! And the wine is on the house.”

An hour later Anne introduces Adam to Lucas. “I found him outside!” she says, proudly, as if she found a stray puppy. He’s definitely _not_ a puppy. Lucas is tall and his tight shirt reveals a hint of muscle. “Isn’t he cute?”

Lucas looks slightly terrified but also amused by the psychotic girl who has kidnapped him. Adam wonders if she gets that a lot. “He’s very cute,” Adam says because, well, he is and Lucas doesn’t seem to mind the compliment. 

“I’m sorry about that,” Adam tells Lucas when Anne walks away. “I just met her last week and she’s taken it upon herself to find me a man.”

“That’s not scary at all,” Lucas says, climbing into the stool next to Adam. He’s laughing though, and he’s got a pretty smile. Lucas holds his hand out to shake Adam’s. “I don’t think I got your name.”

He ends up getting Lucas’s number and they make plans to have lunch on Sunday. Adam doesn’t invite him home with him. This time he’s going to do it the right way.

  


It’s been a month since Kris last saw Adam. His heartbeat still quickens when he hears the door to Nuvo open on Friday’s, but it’s never Adam. Ava tries to avoid talking about Adam to Kris when they talk about school; he never asked her to, but Kris thinks she can tell it hurts him.

Sometimes, during the downtime between lunch and dinner, Kris sits at the table in the corner and takes out his phone. They’ve only ever taken one picture together. Ava stole his phone one night when Adam came over for dinner. It’s not even a cute picture. They’re in a middle of a conversation, Adam’s looking down and Kris is blinking. 

A plate of chicken wings is placed in front of him and he looks up at Terrance. “You okay, boss?” he asks. Terrance usually avoids talking about Adam around Kris, too.

“How is he?” Kris asks because he really wants to know if Adam is doing okay.

Terrance looks out the window instead of meeting Kris’s eyes. “Adam’s good. He’s, uh, been dating a little bit.”

Kris has never been much of the jealous type; he never had to worry with Katy and he hasn’t had anyone since then. Now he wants to find whoever Adam has been dating and hurt them for trying to take what’s his. 

“He misses you though,” Terrance continues. “This guy, Lucas. It’s not serious.”

“Do you think I made a mistake?” Kris asks. He’s been second-guessing himself for a long time. Not having Adam around doesn’t feel right. 

“I think you’re an idiot for thinking he’d leave the two of you,” Terrance says, shrugs, and walks away. 

Kris drops his chin on the table and looks at his crappy picture for a little while longer.

-

Kris leans against the archway separating the kitchen and the living room and watches Ava color with Spongebob Squarepants playing quietly in the background. She has her chin in her palm and occasionally looks up at the screen. Kris feels a knot in his chest and he tries to remember when she became this little person. The baby that he taught how to walk can now tie her own shoes. She’s beginning to form her own thoughts and opinions and will soon grow into a young girl. There will be boys (or girls) and puberty and things he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to deal with on his own. 

He thinks about Adam and how well he’d be able to handle it. Adam wouldn’t be afraid to approach Ava and discuss things that Kris would be too uncomfortable to say. Adam would be a great friend to her as well as a parent. 

“Daddy?”

Kris snaps out of it and looks down at his daughter. She’s sitting on the couch now, staring at him with big worried eyes. He walks over and sits on the cushion next to her.

“What’cha drawing?” Kris asks, pulling the sketchpad closer to him. It’s of a woman with a head too large for her body surrounded by smaller stick figures he assumes is children. There are large blocks in the corners and the alphabet in the background.

“Adam—um. I mean Mr. Lambert. He asked us to draw what we wanted to be when are grown ups,” she explains and takes the drawing from Kris’s grasp. “I wanna be a teacher someday just like Adam.”

Kris curls his lips inward and bites down. Ava can hardly read and she’s already got big dreams for herself. He knows that he’s not entirely the one to thank for that. Adam has been stretching her mind for the past six months and opening her eyes to the world. 

“You really like Adam, don’t you?” he asks.

Ava nods enthusiastically. “He’s the best teacher I’ve ever had!”

Kris smiles weakly but the regret he feels actually hurts him. He had this amazing man who he loves, who cares so much for their family, and he let him go. Their last conversation haunts him every night when he lies awake in his empty bed. 

“Bug,” he starts, reaching his hand out to pet her hair, “how would you feel if Adam and I—if Adam was around more often?”

Her mouth falls open in something greater than a smile, her front teeth finally growing back in. “Really, daddy?” she asks. “You’re gonna let him come over again?”

Kris hesitates, curling her ponytail around his finger. “I try to do what’s best for you and I—I love Adam and he loves you,” he says. “Nobody in the whole universe matters more to me than you do so I just want to make sure that you’re okay with this.”

Ava reaches up to touch Kris’s cheek. “Adam loves you, too, daddy. I can tell.” 

Kris smiles. “How can you tell?”

“He looks at you the way grandpa looks at grandma,” she says, sounding way more adult than any five-year-old should. “It’s okay with me if you want to be boyfriends.”

Kris laughs, startled by Ava’s words. “Excuse me, miss, but how do you know about boyfriends?”

She rolls her eyes, like _duh, dad_ , and he can already see the handful she’ll be in her teen years. “Tanner and Rebecca have been boyfriend and girlfriend for almost _two_ days, daddy. I’m not stupid.”

Kris pulls her in and kisses the top of her head. “No,” he smiles against her soft hair, “you’re certainly not stupid.”

  


Adam’s phone rings twice but he doesn’t answer it. He’s on the couch and it’s all the way over _there_ and he highly doubts anyone has died, so he ignores it.

Saturdays are Adam’s favorite. He catches up on all of his shows from the week and stays in his pajamas until noon. Lately he’s been calling Lucas over and they hang out, cuddle a little, but they’ve only kissed once. Adam wasn’t that into it but it was nice. Lucas is nice. He’s sure it won’t go anywhere. 

Half an hour after the phone stops ringing, there’s a knock on the door. His heart stalls for just a second because, holy shit, maybe somebody did die. Of course, the one time he doesn’t answer his phone. Adam rolls off the couch, pulls up his pants, and hurries to the door. 

It’s Kris, and behind him, holding onto his hand, is Ava. 

“Hi,” Kris says, a smile on his face that looks just about how Adam feels. It’s relief and nerves and _oh, it’s you. I’ve missed you._

“You’re here,” Adam says, still processing. They decided to end it and now Kris is here. He doesn’t want to get his hopes up because it always leads to disappointment, but _Kris is here_.

Ava flings herself onto Adam, wrapping her arms around his middle. It startles him; he laughs and hugs her back just as tight. She pulls back and grins up at him so widely that Adam can’t help but smile right back. 

“Daddy wants to take you home with us.”

A deer in headlights is an understatement for Kris’s face. “No—no, don’t. Just—let me talk. Okay, Bug?” Kris murmurs, fidgeting and too embarrassed to look at Adam. 

Ava stomps in the house. “Fine,” she says, “don’t mess it up this time.”

Kris scrubs his hand over his face. Adam’s a little too shocked to even realize they’re still standing there, the front door still wide open, and Kris is on his doorstep. “Glad she has faith in me,” Kris says, and Adam doesn’t think he’s joking. 

“Do you want—“ Adam starts to invite Kris in because Ava’s already making herself at home.

Kris cuts him off. “I love you.”

Suddenly, Adam can’t breathe.

“Okay,” Adam says. As soon as he gets the syllable out of his mouth, he regrets it. That’s not what he’s supposed to say. He’s come up with hundreds of scenarios for if Kris ever decided he wanted Adam back and stupidly saying _okay_ wasn’t one of them. Judging by the way Kris’s face deflates, he hadn’t planned on that either. 

Kris looks down, shattered. “Okay.”

Adam waves his hands as if he’s trying to erase that moment in time, to have a do-over. “I don’t mean _okay_ as in whatever. I just—what are you doing here?” he asks. “You didn’t want this and now you’re here with your daughter—“ Adam looks over and she’s sitting on the couch watching television “—and telling me that you love me.”

Kris takes a step over the threshold into Adam’s house and touches him. It makes the world feel a little better now that Kris is touching him. _Crazy,_ Adam thinks, and rests his hand on Kris’s chest. His heart is racing. 

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Kris says. “You’re, like, the perfect guy and I was an idiot for telling you to go. Ava loves you as much as I do. We want you in this family with us.”

Adam remembers their conversation. It can’t be this easy. Kris had his reasons for not being with Adam. “What happens if we break up?”

Kris takes the hand Adam has resting on his chest and holds it between his. “Then we’ll deal with it if that ever happens,” he says. “I think we belong together, me and you.”

Adam wants to say yes—God, does he ever. Everything he wants is right here, offering himself up on silver platter for Adam to have and he just _can’t_. Kris hurt him. He can’t just forget that.

His life was so easy a few minutes ago. Adam doesn’t know what to say. The part of him that was hurt won’t shut up long enough to listen to the part that wants this. Kris seems to take the silence as rejection because he backs away.

“I’m sorry—I shouldn’t have come here,” he says. “I knew you were dating someone and I came here anyway. I’m sorry. Ava, come on. We’re leaving.”

Kris grabs Ava’s hand and pulls her to the door. “He doesn’t want to be with us?” Ava asks Kris, and Adam has never felt shittier in his entire life.

They’re about to walk out the door and Adam can’t let them. “No,” Adam stops them. “I didn’t say I didn’t want this. I just need a minute, Kris.”

Kris kneels down to Ava’s level. “Bug, go play somewhere, okay?” he says. “Just don’t break anything. I need a minute alone with Adam.”

Ava stomps her foot. “ _Fine_.”

Adam waits until he hears Ava’s footsteps fade, then he looks at Kris. He looks ragged and tired. Adam wonders if he was up all night thinking about what might happen. If Kris and Ava leave this time, Adam knows they’ll be gone for good. There won’t be another second chance. Adam might get hurt later on, but right now it feels like it could be worth the risk. There is a chance at forever with Kris. 

Finally, after an immeasurable amount of time, Kris takes Adam’s hands. “Come on,” Kris whispers. The way he’s looking at Adam feels like a fairytale. He’s the princess being swept off her feet by the handsome prince, of course. “You love me. I know you do.”

Adam shakes his head. “You drive me crazy,” he says, a little breathless. “You’re not breaking my heart again, okay?”

It’s an impossible promise to make, but Adam thinks he’s willing to take that risk.

Kris moves closer, excited. “That sounds like a yes.”

It’s a yes, alright. “Yes, yes, yes,” he says, not even sure what he’s saying yes to but he knows it means Kris is his now. 

He puts his hands on Kris’s cheeks and tilts that mouth up to the perfect angle. Just as he’s about to kiss Kris, Ava squeezes her way between them. “Don’t kiss,” she says, wrinkling her nose. “That’s icky.”

Adam clasps his hand over her eyes and leans in.

  


  
**EPILOGUE**  


The classroom is a mess after the kids leave from their first day of kindergarten. Their paintings are still drying on the back counters. All of the chairs are stacked on the tables and the books are away. It’s the largest class he’s had in the seven years he’s been teaching and Adam is excited to see them grow up.

He tore down most of the stuff from last year to make room for all of the new arts and crafts. His favorites throughout the years are still up, including the newest addition, taped up right next to the gold star board. It’s the family portrait Ava drew last year of her standing in the middle of Adam and Kris, her stick arms reaching up for their hands. 

It has been the best two years of Adam’s life. 

Just then, the door creaks open and Ava pokes her head in. She’s getting older, losing the baby soft face and getting sharp edges, looking more and more like her dad. 

“Adam!” 

She’s still the same little girl she was when she first stepped into his classroom, changing his life every single day. 

“How was your first day?” Adam asks. He reaches for the candy jar and gives her a ring pop. “Did you like your teacher?”

Ava doesn’t answer until she has the candy in her mouth. “She’s really cool. I love second grade! At the end of the day, she gave us temporary tattoos. I got a walrus.” She lifts her sleeve to show the blob of grey on her shoulder.

“Awesome,” Adam says. They move over to his desk and she climbs on his lap. “You are still my favoritest teacher. Even though you are like my daddy now.”

Adam smiles. “You’re my favorite student I’ve ever had.”

On Adam’s desk are three pictures. The first is of Adam with his mother, father, and brother when he was in high school. It’s one of the very few where he didn’t look fat. The second was taken at Nuvo about a year or so ago. It’s of him and Kris; they weren’t aware the picture was being taken. Kris is leaning over the bar, face just inches from Adam’s, and they’re smiling. It still makes Adam’s heart flutter a little whenever he looks at it for too long. The last picture is of the three of them at Disneyland last summer. Ava is standing on a bench, arms around their necks, and they’re all wearing matching Mickey ears. 

“Adam?” Ava says. She’s looking at the pictures too. “Can I ask you a question?”

He tickles her side and she squeals, squirming away. “Stop, stop!” she giggles, catching her breath. Then, she continues, “Um, I was wondering. Would it okay if I called you papa instead of just Adam? You’re like daddy but I can’t call you that because then I will get confused. And my friend Jane calls her dad papa so I thought it would be okay.”

There have been very few moments that Adam has been left speechless. This is one of them. He doesn’t want to cry, not in front of her, but it’s so overwhelming. Adam lives with them now, makes Ava breakfast every morning and takes her to school. They drive home together, have a snack, and do homework before Kris gets home. As much as he loves and cares for her, he’s always felt like her daddy’s boyfriend. 

“Of course,” Adam finally says, he strains to keep his voice normal. “I’d be happy to be your papa.”

Ava smiles happily, like she could ever think Adam would say no. 

“What are you two looking so happy about?”

The voice surprises him. Standing at the front of the classroom, Kris is eyeing the two of them suspiciously.

“Nothing, dad,” Ava says. She’s been using that more often and Kris hates it. “That’s between me and Ada—I mean, my papa.”

Kris’s eyes get really big, matching Adam’s, and he gives Kris a look that says, _I know, right?_

They get up from the desk towards Kris and Adam gets there first. “Hey, baby,” he says, quietly so Ava can’t hear, kissing Kris softly. 

“Blegh, gross,” Ava says, prying them apart. 

Kris snorts and kisses Adam again anyway. Then he picks Ava up. “Come on, Bug, tell me about your first day.”

They leave ahead of Adam while he locks up. When he turns around, they’re waiting for him and Kris takes Adam’s hand as they walk down the hallway.


End file.
